Why being a girl isn't working out for me:
Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me: Please, god, no--
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
Me: Please, guys, calm down--
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me: I hate you all
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
Face: Lol, i'm not done yet.
Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this?
Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.
Uterus: You mother fuckers.
Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama.
Brain: Me gusta.
i find this funnier than life. →
10knotes: fruityedition: I find this incredibly funny. Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard
thedailywhat: In Case You Missed It of the Day: Speaking of which, Amy Poehler returned to Saturday Night Live last night to reunite with former Weekend Update co-host Seth Meyers for a special birth-control segment of “Really?!?” which delved into all the wacky, anachronistic mishegas the Republicans were up to this week. On the one hand, I hope Amy returns to Weekend Update more often. On...
ilikeduhbutts: patrickequalsme: Hockey Chris. Lip Dub. Katy Perry. Shittsburgh. This may or may not have made my night.<3
I only like....
one specific mac user. :]